#Sorrynotsorry

Among my social media, I’m beginning to see some whinging about the amount of political posts and some pleas that we “all get along” or “let it go and move on.”

You can do that. You can hide, at least for a while longer. (And make no mistake, it is hiding. It is turning your head from sorrow and suffering and anger.) So you can do that, but I will not.

Some people are *actively in danger.* The man who is our president has advocated sexual assault (grab her by the pussy) and mocked every group from veterans to people with disabilities to women. This opens up a window for all kinds of other violence and crude behavior. If the man who holds the highest elected office in our nation can get there after the public is aware that he’s been doing these things, then Joe Schmoe down in Mississippi doesn’t think he’s going to get in much trouble for grabbing the ass of the woman he works with. (Spoiler alert–he doesn’t.)

So not only do we have a president who creates an atmosphere in which violence–in particular sexual violence, but other kinds as well–is likely to thrive, we also have a president who is already actively working toward anti-intellectualism, ignoring systemic racism, erasing LGBTQ peoples, and removing healthcare protections from those who most need it.

This is not alarmist. We are already hearing the administration deal in “alternative facts.” Bills are already in the works to turn healthcare back over to the states, and we all know how poorly that goes for the poorest among us (hint: really fucking badly). The first pages that were removed and archived from the presidential website were LGBTQ and climate change. There were no replacement policies on the LGBTQ page–none–though the writers were sure to add in a plug for FLOTUS’s jewelry line on her bio page. As someone who is trained to read and teach rhetoric, I will say that we can learn a lot about what the administration values here. IT IS NOT US.

It’s only the beginning of day 3 of this administration. Re-read that.

There are real stakes for me here. I a woman. I need birth control every month to stay healthy, and the insurance that we pay exorbitant amounts to keep should have to cover it. I’ve lived on state assistance and used Medicaid in the past. I live with multiple mental illnesses. I have a child who was premature, who attends a public charter school now. I live in the deepest of the deep south, in a place where coastlines are rapidly disappearing, and my city is quite literally sinking, disappearing underneath me.

There are real stakes for my loved ones here. Many of them identify as LGBTQ and have only recently gained the right to legal marriages. Some of them have used state assistance in the past, and many of them are women. They work hard, these women. And they are tough, so tough, living in places that often try to tear them to pieces.

But even aside from all that–even aside from my own experiences and those close to me–I am a fucking human being, and I am empathetic. I know when something is wrong, and something is very wrong just now, my friends.

Yes, we marched this weekend. We protested. And I saw a fair amount of whinging about that, as well–complaints that what was happening was somehow unpatriotic or that we should just try and “move on.” I keep hearing that echoed–move on.

Listen up: the women’s march was amazing. Unprecedented. Seven continents and millions of women. I’m not sure that it would’ve been possible in an age without social media, truly. (Let me be clear–I also recognize that the march was not infallible, and we should not refrain from criticizing it and working to make our feminism better. We need to listen to those voices that traditional feminism has subdued. Women of color and trans women, for instance, are specifically saying they were marginalized further by some of what transpired. I both recognize the enormity of what happened this weekend and think we can do better. Feminism cannot continue ignoring bright, honest, and powerful voices.)

Now, we have to translate this protest energy into more action, more conversation, more doing. We cannot stop on day 3. So– #sorrynotsorry for clogging your newsfeeds. But don’t expect me to stop anytime soon.

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Comments

  1. says

    I worry that the energy from this past weekend will dissipate and disappear. I’m researching ideas to post on my blog as to what steps we can continue to take. “We” being inclusive of race, gender, etc… but also age-appropriate actions for children, and behind-the-scenes actions for those of us with disabilities (i.e. social anxiety) who cannot step up in conventional ways. Any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. says

    Crazy amazing! I absolutely love your post. :o) I would just like to add that among all the women who marched, were a LOT of men and boys – some wearing the Pussy Hats. They stood in solidarity with their women and daughters and I’d like to send them a nod. Thanks for sharing such a great post. We need more women like you. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. says

    Well said/written! I saw negative responses to the marches, too, from women who apparently have no idea how it is they acquired the rights they have today. There’s a meme going around about how they stand up for themselves and get their own jobs and vote, etc., without need for a march. Makes you wonder if they know their history.

    Liked by 3 people

    • says

      No, Robin. I don’t wonder at all.

      They *clearly* do NOT “know their history” — and they are oh-so-wrong if they kid themselves into believing that “wait and see” and “give them a chance” will do anything other than lend seeming support to McDonald and minions as they continue to move forward to trample our rights and dismantle every positive thing for which this country has ever stood.

      What are they waiting FOR?
      Their sons to come home from school bragging about “grabbing pussy?” Their daughters to come home crying because they had been grabbed? Or perhaps for something even worse to happen to THEM personally?

      What do they need to SEE?
      The dead bodies of people who couldn’t afford health care? Marshall Law? Rape on the dais?

      If they haven’t *already* been appalled by the actions and words of this truculent boy-child the country has mistakenly put in office to “drain the swamps,” it may well take the horrors above to get them TO see.

      And by then it will be too late to do much about it.

      We can not go silently into anybody’s night and we can NOT stand by to watch Germany’s history repeat on our soil.
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
      – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Andrea Kenner says

    “He Who Shall Not Be Named” is truly scary. It’s becoming more and more apparent as each day of his reign passes.

    Like

  5. says

    “Let me be clear–I also recognize that the march was not infallible, and we should not refrain from criticizing it and working to make our feminism better.”

    Thank you for saying this. There was a point there where I was worried this whole thing would fall apart from infighting, which would have been a real shame. We need to do better. We need to find a way to include all voices but still be open to criticism from one another. We need to remember why we are here in the first place. For all women! For all people!

    As for our new President, I am certain now that as much alarm and anxiety as I feel, it’s all going to be so much worse than I imagine. I hope we can keep up this momentum. I hope in two years we are still in a panic and I hope in four years we still have hope.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. says

    To the ‘let’s all get along’ people, remember this? …

    ‘First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Socialist.
    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.’
    by Martin Niemöller

    Different time – same danger.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mmars118 says

    I don’t understand people who would rather bury their heads in the sand. It’s crazy. Well said and never stop speaking out. We have to fight and we won’t stop.

    Like

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